Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Metallica; a history of douche bags

Metallica, (aka. Sell outs, people who kicked Dave out) are the worst music group ever to attack my ear drums. As you all know, Dave Mustaine who was the only talented member of the band was kicked out, and not just kicked out but bussed out. His solo's were the only savior to their new style of music. The band later went on to be a huge success, however most people who bought the albums did so because they thought Dave would be there busting out Mechanix. When people heard that "The Mechanix" was replaced by shit stain "Four Horsemen" there was a world wide suicide increase by 34 percent. The rest of their history is unimportant and gay, so I'm not going to bore you with it. The only other good Album was "Fuck Metallica" and man did it ever fuck Metallica in the face. However, more recently, I have determined that not only are all the members (in the current lineup) fags, but they are also insane too. Last I heard they hated illegal downloading and now Lars is downloading Endgame? Did he hit his head, I mean it is a good album, but why not Rust in peace? Or maybe he already downloaded all of Dave's albums because he is such a huge fan, which makes total sense because I am a huge fan. Anyways, I think they came to peace with pirating because that's the only way anyone would ever listen to their music. When they want to kill themselves by terrible music, and would rather buy one last dime bag instead of one last shitty album.

Monday, November 23, 2009

A treat for the hungry

Released: November 23, 2009

Now I know I haven't been posting much, but this should make up for it. A short story, that is not completely revised (ie. probably errors, and scenes not fully flushed out) but the story is finished enough for me to release on the site. Tell me what you guys think of it, as you can tell it is about zombies. Oh and if you wanted a happy ending, there is none, everyone dies like they should in all horror books; unless however that is your idea of a happy ending.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

forty four hundred is win

The forty four hundred is a great show, why the hell did they cancel it?! I mean, the writers guild strike, and financial problems are not good enough reasons to do that. It was a great show! This is equivalent to ABC dropping LOST right before the last season. This just fills me with rage!

You know what? They probably had financial problems because of the writers higher payrolls resulting from the writers guild strike! Those bastards! They are the reason for this, this is all because of the World Canadian Bureau!


Also, Loads of sites have forums, and I just wanted to clarify that BCDan will never have forums ever. Why? They're gay, why should I waste my time with it. I could be smoking pot instead, or sleeping. There would be no members anyways. So I just wanted to be clear that there is one forum that I actually enjoy using frequently and if you wanted to join it I'll provide you with the link.

Really awesome "pot smoking" forum.
HERE

Friday, August 21, 2009

Decline of Modern Horror

When was the last time I saw a good horror flick? a long ass fucking time ago. Seriously I don't even remember what it was, maybe Event Horizon, or Dawn of the Dead (remake) although neither of those are scary. I miss the days where I had to cover my eyes cause arachnophobia was too intense, and watching that never even cured my fear of spiders! Although, nothing ever will. Camel spiders, enough said.

I just saw the Orphan, and I have to say, its about as bad as having my face sand blasted then soaked in lemon juice, repeatedly. I also saw "A Perfect Getaway" which was entertaining, but Thrillers can't even compare to the awesome capabilities of horrors. At least 28 Months later IS coming out eventually, but hopefully it doesn't suck as much as Sunshine did, which in case nobody watched it; it is Event Horizon except the ship didn't go to hell, it went to the sun. Fail.

Although, with movies starting to take the downward quality expressway, video games are fulfilling my needs greatly. People finally understand Survival horror is win, along with Post-Apocalypse games. They are so much more intense, and so much longer. FINALLY, the main plot wont unfold and be accomplished in 120 minutes or less. Alone in The Dark (besides 5), Silent Hill (early), Resident evil (early), Left 4 Dead, Dead Space, Cryostasis, and Obscure are all very good survival horror games. FEAR (1+2), RE4 and RE5, Silent Hill Homecoming, and Half Life 2 are good Action Adventures. (I don't really know about FEAR, its a weird shooter)

So what the fuck?

Why are horror movies so gay now, and on top of that if horror movies already blow chunks, why make a horror movie based off of a game? Stop now Uwe Boll, why'd you ruin Alone in the dark? Your terrible direction of that film, set the basis for a sequel which opened up peoples minds to continue the saga in Video Game format, thus spawning Alone in the dark 5. The game that could have been great, except it got fucked in the ass by Uwe Boll before they even knew what was coming. Thank the lord Farcry 2 didn't follow its movie counterpart. If you didn't know that a Farcry movie existed, continue believing that and disregard the last sentence.

Friday, July 31, 2009

The greatest adventure of all time!

As you all know, I'm so great. I'm actually so great that my greatness had to be expanded to the land of 52 dialects. Obviously, Newfoundland. Leaving only about a month ago and still here today, I've come to the ultimate decision that I want to live here, but not yet. Living here will require some mental healing and copious amount of weed smoking. This can't be accomplished here. I haven't smoked weed in 3 weeks. It's a lot to take in at once, so just smoke a bowl and continue reading when your ready.

Alright, lets continue. Weed is impossible to get out here, and if you get it its shitty and expensive. Hardy an Ideal condition. On top of this, absolutely nobody listens to metal, with the exception of one person who liked Judas Priest, and was amazed when I liked metal also. It's a dead metal zone out here. Seriously I've heard the Black Eyed Peas song, I gotta feeling, like 600 fucking times on the radio. God damn it, I hate that song.

On top of that, there's no mountains to fill in my view. none. I get a boring stupid-ass cloud filled sky to look at. Their not the good kind of clouds either, their the worst kind of clouds. On the other hand in British Columbia it's 42 Degree's out. Woah! Not looking forward to that. I like the Foggy, normal 25 degree weather, with minimal rain. Ideal Weather. Fog is win.

So I've decided to come back to the weed capital for a few months until January or February, then move back out to good ol' beer drinking Newfie land, and become an alcoholic. Great plan indeed. So LOOK out! I'm coming back! Be fucking ready! Purchase loads and loads of weed and invite me over to discuss my greatness with me, I love compliments.

Friday, July 3, 2009

"Family Guy" is a terrible TV show, Don't watch it.

If you do happen to watch it, then your just encouraging the producers and writers to continue their work.. and your an idiot for not understanding actual "good" comedy. Probably some of you are screaming out loud smashing your computer and denouncing my statement towards this children show, what would I presume your defensive argument should be? Family Guy is hysterical when your baked. NOPE. My returning argument would have to be; Everything is funny while your baked. With the exception of killing baby rabbits.. wait, no.. everything is funny while baked.

So why watch Family Guy? I honestly don't know. Its childish, retarded, they use the same-old jokes all the time directed towards the same audience, all the fraking time. What season are they in now? Eight? Jesus people, I knew the human race (or at least the Internet) was dumb, but this is overwhelming. THAT SHOW SHOULD HAVE STAYED CANCELED. Damn you rocketing DVD sales!

I mean come on.. The only good developed character is Brian, he's got a logical understanding of what goes on around him, and his back story makes sense. Unlike his best friend, who apparently has some dad in Ireland, which was different from his other "Dad" (Foster Dad, I really don't know) for most of the series, leaving the viewers to eventually find out that both were not his father, and a third Dad was introduced. (I think?) anyways, it does not matter, they all somehow met and ended up in America. Peter obviously does not know what goes on around him, same with Chris, and Meg. Who don't have much character development.

I could go on to explain Peters friends, Lois, The absurd baby of theirs, but it would explain nothing but how much they all suck. I will admit 3 or 4 jokes made me laugh (while not high) but that is hardly worth watching the program to see if one pops up, the pot episode even sucked. (how?)

All in all, its a terrible show, that is boring to watch, Hopefully I opened your eyes. (I already know I didn't; because anyone who likes the show probably disagreed with everything I said, or completely agreed with me. The later being the smarter choice.) Watch shows like South Park, Monty Python (very good show to watch baked by the way) Futurama, Simpsons, or even Seth's other show, American Dad, which is a great improvement to Family Guy.

Also, Before you finish reading, let me tell you one last thing to help you see the way and to prevent you from ever tuning in to Family Guy. King of the Hill (Great show) was cancelled after something like 11 or 12 seasons to make room for a Family Guy spin-off. FRAK YOU FAMILY GUY! How will Hank Hill sell me propane now?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Internet is fail

Well my years on the world wide web have been interesting no doubt, I've seen some radical sites and interesting games and creations. Also though, some awesome public sites and forums have caught my attention. One of these forums/sites that I visit every now and then, (I used it Back in the Day) is Totse. While I am thunderously disappointed by the fact that as of January 17th 2009, the site in no more. This information disgusts me, as tons of other good sites are also shut down, unmaintained, never up-dated, or just plain suck (now).

Why? Internet are you starting to fail. I've always had faith in you, spiting on people who said the Internet was lame, or uselessly boring. I guess those days came to an end, as soon as I started to notice how awesome the Internet actually was.

Most new sites that popped up take the traffic away from the older sites that used to be. (my opinion, but obviously the right one) Sites like "Facebook" (Which I recently De-activated my account, due to my sudden realization that it's utter dog shit. Although, I always really kinda knew it, but went along with it anyways.) "YouTube" Yes I know, YouTube is a cool site that wastes your hours away watching killer music videos and unreleased sitcom TV shows that never saw the light of day, that is, until YouTube started existing. But is it really actually a cool site? No. It isn't. FACT: 90% of the videos on YouTube are lies, shit quality, incorrectly labeled, or some shit bag trying to show his creativity by making movies. (News flash man, THEY FUCKING SUCK) Have you ever seen somebody try to cover an intense song themselves (and suck at it), or seen some crappy-filth-ridden-suck-fest of a home video? Yes you have, because they compile most of YouTube.

There's actually so many shitty sites on the Internet, I would spend years typing them out, and You'd never actually see this post. Seriously though, there is an incredible amount of terrible sites on the web, test it out. Type www.whatever the fuck you want.com (no spaces) and voila! You have found a site. Alas, its not really a site, but an eye sore. So this is not recommended.